I met this woman on OKCupid. She was a 99% match. This was in the time when I still held out hope for OKC and didn’t understand to be the endless timesink that it is. Thing is, she was not a thousand miles away, but TWO thousand miles away. But that wasn’t all.
We got to chatting – she was enthused to meet someone like me, someone as much like her as the OKC algorithm seemed to suggest I was – and we discovered that we both are poly-ish. Though I always resist that label, as it elevates an aspect of me that I don’t really elevate in my own self-conception – which isn’t to say that I’m ashamed of what it implies, just that I don’t think of myself as “essentially” poly in the way that I’m “essentially” straight(ish), or male, or whatever. What I mean by poly is that I like screwing around, that I enjoy playing with intimacy, both sexual and emotional, and power, and that I don’t (currently, thankfully) feel constrained in doing so with people other than the woman to whom I’m married. And that I don’t (currently, thankfully) feel inclined (or entitled) to limit her explorations. That’s all a description of how things are today. Not how they were yesterday, and maybe not how they’ll be tomorrow.
Anyway, back to the OKC woman: she wrote that she was so lonely where she is, because there’s no poly community there, and she has to travel over 100 miles just to get to a meeting of other poly people.
If I’m driving 100 miles, I better damned well be getting laid….