7 comments on “Failure to launch

  1. D had a performance issue during our one time of having sex in a public venue (sex club). He didn't completely lose it, but had a hard time (haha) keeping it going.

  2. Yup.  Viagra doesn't create erections; it keeps the person taking it from losing erections.    The thing is, most men do stop having "psychogenic" erections (the kind that come from just thinking about something) at some point.  If there isn't good sexual communication, a woman may end up presuming her male partner just doesn't find her attractive anymore.  (In many cases, it's the only clue we get that you like us!)Even though I'm a woman, I've taken Viagra recreationally a few times, and the effect on sex was really fascinating.  

  3. The "psychogenic" part is just about how a man gets an erection — a lot of men require physical stimulation to get an erection, not just thinking about it.  But if that's a new phenomenon for the man in question, they may think that there's something really wrong.  As for my own use of Viagra?  Well, a few years ago, my husband and I scaled back our holiday-gift giving to each other and decided only to fill each other's stockings, and only with sex toys.  It's much less stressful, and the fact that we have to wait till everybody's gone to bed to open ours makes it quite sweet and funny.  Viagra is pretty expensive, so I received two tablets for Christmas in a repurposed earring box (funny!).  I generally split those tablets in half for use, so two tablets is four doses.  Women have erectile tissue too; it's just inside.  Viagra made sex feel hotter, tighter, more sensitive and tender.   I definitely would not have wanted a hard pounding, but my sensitivity was definitely increased and the orgasms were great.  I also suffered from the predictable side effects: a flushed face and the "Viagra headache" that many people who take it get.  I wouldn't want to use it all the time but every once in awhile it's fun. 

  4. That's great – thanks. The psychogenic is rarely enough for me, but how much physical stimulation I want/need is a whole 'nother thing. Viagra comes in different doses – 50, 100, 150 mg. (and maybe more). For me, after experimentation, I've found that 100 mg. is the best – it really does make my hard-on super-hard. And the side effects (again, for me) are minimal: I feel my heart beat a little, a little pressure in my head (not painful). But yeah, it is expensive. Every so often, I check to see when it'll go off patent – I think it's 2013. That'll be a good day…..

  5. I have wondered about this. I had a lover that was much older than me and he would always feel bad because he could see the worry on my face that I thought it was my fault. He would always assure me that it wasn't and that I did excite him. After a while i could tell that it was something more, like if the phone rang during sex it would break his concentration and he would go a little soft. I always wondered if a little blue pill would help him but i think he was too afraid to really push the issue and so i dropped it not wanting to put more on his mind to worry about. So i guess my question is, even if it is mental does the pill still help? you make it sounds like it does…

  6. I think the "psychogenic" language/explanation offered by Lily is helpful. Many men progress from a state of near-perpetual wood (morning wood, of the sort that every man remembers from his youth) to a less tumescent general way of being. I think there's a reason that every porn film starts with oral and then progresses to fucking: because it's easiest for us that way. As much as we all have the fantasy of just turning you around and fucking you, or throwing you on the bed and fucking you – and sometimes we DO do that – that's not always possible – at least not for me. For me, often, I require a little physical stimulation.The blue pill? It lowers the threshold for my tumescence. I need to be less aroused – whether that's "psychogenically," by the mere thought of what I'm about to do to you, or physically, by the sensation of your mouth on my cock. It doesn't substitute for arousal – it just brings it a little closer, and, more important, makes me harder once I am hard.So I don't know if it would have helped: it's certainly no substitute for being turned on.

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